By Paula O’Kray

Here we are, a few days into the New Year, and most of you are working on keeping your resolutions, if you bothered to make any.

That’s a lot of pressure, to try and keep something up without fail, and most of us end up breaking before too long, and then we’re done … at least until next year, when it happens all over again. And that’s why I stopped making resolutions a long time ago.

I try to take some of that pressure off and simply attempt to make better choices, every day. I don’t wait for the New Year, I just decide to do something better and I do it. So then when I mess up and end up making a poor choice, it’s not a big deal. I just try to do better next time instead of keeping score of my failures.

The hard part is staying conscious of your day, and all the choices that are involved, and remembering to do it better each time. It’s so easy to fall into routine and not even notice where those changes can be made.

That said, I still felt the need to make a greater effort for change as the New Year approached. I started early in November with making better choices for gifts while Christmas shopping. Sure, I get a list of wants – usually way too late – but what my kids want is not always what they might need.

Now, I know no one wants what they need, but sometimes mom knows best, and knows what her kids will enjoy and what might improve their lives even when they don’t know it themselves.

Like most 20-somethings, my kids spend a lot of time looking at their phones. I realize their generation grew up with this technology and mine didn’t, and it pains me to see them with their heads stuck in their phones while their amazing lives go by, seemingly unnoticed.

I tried to find gifts that encouraged interaction to try and break that habit, and to make a point about being in the moment, and sharing moments with others.

When my kids were growing up, we tried to have a weekly game night at the house. When they were small, we played simple games like Trouble so everyone had a fair chance at winning and all could enjoy the game.

As they got older, we tried other games that eventually involved skill and critical thinking, and some were just silly. But the real goal, one that was always met, was just sitting down with the whole family and having a good time together. I think we all really enjoyed that.

So in an effort to help recreate those times, I bought them games they would enjoy playing with friends and family. Remember the light-up memory game called Simon? I found one at the toy store downtown and thought it was the perfect thing, and I was right.

When one of the grandchildren pulled it from under the tree and unwrapped it, there was a small moment of frenzy as each adult in the room tried to show the little ones how to play, which morphed into a somewhat fierce and unexpected competition.

They all thought it was so easy to get a high score, but when I challenged them to beat mine, they found out otherwise. I couldn’t resist playing a few rounds before I wrapped the gift, and got to 21. The game displays the highest score achieved so new players have something to shoot for. I probably could have gone higher, but I needed the time to wrap the gifts and decided 21 was a pretty good place to stop. That game can be addicting, and I had work to do.

One after the other, each one tried, but none came close … unless you consider 14 close. It was really kind of funny, and I got a big kick out of knowing there’s still something I can beat them at. I’m sure the first time they beat my score, I’ll hear about it.

I also bought a lot of books. I go a little crazy in bookstores, and this year was no exception. I lost count of the books I bought. I remember how much fun it was to choose a book at bedtime, or to let them choose the book, and read it to my kids.

Sometimes we would read the same book every night for weeks on end. I remember “The Little Engine That Could” was a favorite, because I would use different voices for all the characters.

This year I purchased “Where the Wild Things Are,” “The Missing Piece,” “Where the Sidewalk Ends,” all classics that every child should have in their collection, and a few new ones that looked interesting.

Again, encouraging interaction between parents and children, reading together is an activity that never gets old. Many times when I visit, my grandchildren will come up to me with a book or several in hand and crawl up in my lap so I can read to them, and I am only too happy to do so. I really should start reading bedtime books to my dog, bet she’d like that. I know I would!

The grandchildren are also into making stuff, my daughter said, and telling that to a creative is like spilling gasoline on a fire.

Perusing some of my favorite book and toy stores, I found some really cool things – like a wooden airplane puzzle to assemble and paint, a purse and matching journal you can color, and a book with a stamp pad where you can use your thumb print to make silly pictures of all kinds of things.

Yep, mom is going to have one messy kitchen table in the coming weeks. Hope she saw that coming.

In addition, there were also better choices to be made for me as well. In fact, I found myself making a list of them as the New Year got closer. Not wanting to be too black and white about it, I decided I wanted more of some things and less of other things.

General things, like less sugar, more movement. Less “shoulding” on myself and more enjoying myself. Less eating out, more home-cooked meals. Less juice, more tea. And definitely more napping, although maybe less napping at work.

I find ideas come more quickly to me in the morning than at almost any other time of day, which is very odd because I’m not a morning person. I think it’s because the stress of the day-to-day hasn’t hit me yet, and my mind is clearer and the good ideas can get a running start.

This is why I keep a pen and paper in almost every room of my house, so I can get those ideas down before the to-do thoughts hit my brain. They’re like the bullies that chase the little kids off the playground.

The ideas came fast, so I wrote quickly. Less Facebook, more face time. Less budget worries, more $5 movie night with friends. Less anxiety, worry and suspicion, more faith and trust.  Less Netflix, more books. Less stuff, more moments. Less criticism, more support. Less judgment, more acceptance. Less fear, more love.

And maybe most importantly, to count the times I succeeded instead of counting the times I failed. For by doing that one thing – allowing for failure – I’ll have a more positive and realistic approach to making a lasting change. Best of luck to you on that new resolution.