Stevens Point News

Main Menu

  • Covid 19
  • Sports
    • Sports News
    • High School Sports Scores
    • Wisconsin Rapids Rafters
  • Crime
  • Arts & Entertainment
  • Opinion
  • Obits
  • Contact
    • Subscribe
  • Classifieds
    • View Ads
    • Place Ads
  • Legal Ads
    • Our Legals
    • Statewide
  • E-Edition
    • Stevens Point City Times

logo

Stevens Point News

  • Covid 19
  • Sports
    • Sports News
    • High School Sports Scores
    • Wisconsin Rapids Rafters
  • Crime
  • Arts & Entertainment
  • Opinion
  • Obits
  • Contact
    • Subscribe
  • Classifieds
    • View Ads
    • Place Ads
  • Legal Ads
    • Our Legals
    • Statewide
  • E-Edition
    • Stevens Point City Times
Opinion
Home›Opinion›Shoe Column: Hey — You Can’t Do That

Shoe Column: Hey — You Can’t Do That

By STEVENS POINT NEWS
May 8, 2016
714
0
Share:

By Tim “Shoe” Sullivan

So I was chatting with Stevens Point Mayor Mike Wiza. Since I’m a solid citizen, I wanted to check out some of the city ordinances.

Question: There’s no skateboarding downtown, right? The Mayor: “That’s right. Not on the sidewalks.”

Question: One is not allowed to ride a bike down the Iverson Park ski jump? The Mayor: “I believe that
is frowned upon.”

Question: Can you ride a motorboat in the Bukolt Park lagoon? The Mayor: “A definite no-no.”

Question: What if someone yells “Bingo” when they don’t have it? The Mayor: “I wouldn’t advise doing that.”

Question: Is it true that you can’t park your vehicle on the street overnight during a blizzard? The Mayor: “Ticket City for sure.”

Question: If you get caught shoplifting a calendar, what do you get? The Mayor: “Twelve months.”

Question: Are there any more local ordinances we should know about? The Mayor: “Well, if a parsley farmer doesn’t pay his taxes, we can garnish the wages.”

After listening to the mayor, it seems like we don’t have it too bad around Stevens Point. He was informed that it’s illegal to hunt camels in Arizona or drive a camel on the highway in Nevada. And all taxicabs must carry a broom and shovel in the District of Columbia. And turtle racing is prohibited within the city limits in Florida.

Mayor Wiza: “We recently arrested the Energizer Bunny and charged it with battery.”

The mayor was told that it is illegal to lasso a fish in Tennessee and it’s illegal for more than eight rabbits to reside on the same block in Alabama. Then he was informed that a Kentucky law says that burglary can only be committed at night, and in Louisiana, it’s illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the teller with a water pistol. The mayor said, “Yeah, they mean business down there.”

He also discovered that in Gainesville, Georgia, a city ordinance prohibits eating chicken with a fork.

And in Baltimore, Maryland, it’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. And it’s unlawful to lend your
vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

“What if it’s your neighbor down the block?” He asked.

I guess that’s okay.

Mayor Wiza also learned that it’s illegal in Michigan to hitch a crocodile to a fire hydrant. And in Nebraska, a parent can be arrested if his child cannot hold back a burp during a church service.

And in Corvallis, Oregon, women can’t drink coffee after 6 PM.

Mayor Mike knew that it’s illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalk in Greene, New York during a concert.

The Mayor noted: “Back in the day, and I’m not sure if it’s still on the books, but if you found someone’s goat, the owner either paid you $5 or you got to keep the goat.” He also said: “We frown on jay-walking, but L-walking is okay.”

Like I said, we got it pretty good around here. And if you feel like hitching a crocodile to a fire hydrant, I guess it’s your call. Just remember…don’t try that in Michigan.

Previous Article

Wayne R. Wayerski

Next Article

Gus Macker Tournament Up for Approval Monday

0
Shares
  • 0
  • +
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0
  • 0

Related articles More from author

  • Opinion

    Editorial- Let’s Keep Libraries Around

    February 25, 2013
    By STEVENS POINT NEWS
  • FoodOpinionTop Stories

    Food Swings – Chicken Meatballs

    September 29, 2013
    By STEVENS POINT NEWS
  • Community NewsOpinion

    Cuomo’s Column: Bring Your Own Device (BYOD)

    September 29, 2013
    By STEVENS POINT NEWS
  • Opinion

    Life on the Outside: Apologizing to Stevens Point After Prison

    September 29, 2013
    By STEVENS POINT NEWS
  • Community NewsOpinion

    Life on the Outside: Setting Goals Made Life Worthwhile

    October 6, 2013
    By STEVENS POINT NEWS
  • Community NewsOpinion

    Life on the Outside: Hope Guides Me

    October 14, 2013
    By STEVENS POINT NEWS

High School Sports

Go to High School Sports

Free SP Newsletter

  • Sports

  • Commentary

  • Panthers fight off late rally, claim 13th consecutive regional title

    By Jacob Heid
    June 2, 2023
  • Defensive gem lifts Pacelli in regional championship

    By Jacob Heid
    June 1, 2023
  • Cardinals survive and advance in comeback victory

    By Jacob Heid
    May 31, 2023
  • Stevens Point Country Club

    Stevens Point Country Club provides tough test in open qualifying

    By Jacob Heid
    May 30, 2023
  • SPASH softball dominates regional final with 20-hit performance

    By Jacob Heid
    May 26, 2023
  • Pat Wood

    From the publisher: Christmas and Hanukkah

    By Kris Leonhardt
    December 24, 2022
  • Ice fishing contest Reels in $1,500 for Portage County Literacy Council

    By Taylor Hale
    March 17, 2022
  • Kemmeter Column: County celebrates year after quarantine

    By Taylor Hale
    July 12, 2021
  • Isherwood Column: Great engineering projects two

    By Taylor Hale
    July 11, 2021
  • Shoes News Graphic

    Show Column: Odd Jobs

    By Taylor Hale
    July 9, 2021

About Us


The Portage County Gazette is published every Friday by Multi Media Channels. It is locally-owned, locally-operated and locally-written. Subscriptions are $64 annually, delivered via the U.S. Postal Service.


To subscribe, go www.shopmmclocal.com/product/portage-county-gazette or call 715-258-4360

  • PO Box 408, Waupaca WI 54981
  • (715) 343-8045
  • News editor: [email protected]
Copyright © 2022 Multi Media Channels LLC.
All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication or any of its contents may be reproduced, copied, modified or adapted without the prior written consent of Multi Media Channels LLC.
×