Commentary: Thanksgiving Recipes
By Jim Schuh
Now, the job is to decide how to use leftover turkey.
I hope you enjoyed the fall festival and were able to do so with family and friends.
If you prepared the meal at home, you probably used long-time family recipes for your Thanksgiving feast, although you may have been among the people who went to YouTube to see what was out there among the four million recipes listed on the website. Or you might have searched on how to carve a turkey – views on how to do that successfully were up 60 percent this year.
Martha and I enjoyed more than one Thanksgiving dinner this year. Our first one was a week early, when retirees from the John F. Kennedy Elementary School in Junction City (Martha taught there) gathered for an annual get-together at the school. Once again, the folks who staff the kitchen did a wonderful job preparing turkey, mashed potatoes, dressing, broccoli casserole and desserts.
After the meal, I noticed a handout titled, “How to Cook the Thanksgiving Turkey.” Students in Kari Worzella’s first grade class authored the recipe booklet. I’ve seen these kinds of publications before, and they’re delightful. This one is, too and I’m pleased to share it with you.
If you’re in the mood for tangy turkey, Mason has just the recipe for you. He starts with a 13-pound turkey and suggests stuffing it with a cup of onions, a cup of butter, 10 teaspoons of salt, 11 teaspoons of pepper and 12 cups of peppers. Then rub the outside of the turkey with a teaspoon of celery and a cup of vegetable oil. Finally, cook the turkey at 100 ͦfor 16-hours.
If that’s not spicy enough, Ava has a recipe you might consider. You need only a seven-pound turkey, which you stuff with seven cups of mushrooms, five cups of pepper, seven cups of garlic and six cups of onion. Then you need to smother the outside of the turkey with five teaspoons each of salt and butter, nine cups of lemon juice, seven teaspoons each of stuffing and vegetable oil, ten cups of celery and 17 cups of cranberries. This recipe calls for cooking the bird for seven hours at 76 ͦ.
Maybe you’d prefer a fruity turkey – Charlie has the answer. Start with a ten-pound bird and fill it with 29 cups of stuffing, 19 cups of salt, ten cups of grapes and five cups of bananas. Then apply one teaspoon each of salt, pepper, butter, onion and garlic plus an undetermined amount of vegetable oil and celery to the outside. Be sure to prepare this turkey well ahead of time because it needs to cook at 200 ͦ for 200-hours.
For a small gathering, Malachi offers a recipe using a two-pound turkey. He fills it with 12 cups of garlic, 12 cups of lemon juice, 50 cups of strawberries and 50 cups of bananas. He advises not smothering the outside with anything. Roast the turkey at 79 ͦ for six hours.
Not crazy about grapes or bananas in your bird? Maybe Shane’s recipe will fill the bill. e starts with an 80-pound turkey
He starts with an 80-pound turkey filled with 20 cups of stuffing, a teaspoon of pepper, 10 cups of garlic, six cups of butter, and 30 cups of strawberries. Then rub the turkey with three teaspoons of salt, 20 cups of lemon juice, ten teaspoons of onion, 20 cups of celery, ten cups of vegetable oil and 30 cups of sugar. Set the oven for 76 ͦ and roast for five hours.
Joey starts with a 52-pound turkey and it takes some time to prepare. He suggests stuffing it with seven cups of butter, 99 teaspoons of lemon juice, 33 cups of stuffing and 45 cups of onion. Rub the outside with 52 cups of salt, 97 cups of pepper, some vegetable oil and five bananas. Put it into a 300 ͦ oven for 20-hours.
Caiden has a novel recipe but be cautioned the turkey may explode before it’s ready. Begin with a 14-pound turkey and stuff it with 20 cups each of salt and pepper, 60 cups of butter, 30 cups of lemon juice, 100 cups of stuffing, 90 cups of onion, 300 cups of celery, 500 cups of vegetable oil, 200 cups of strawberries and 500 cups of sugar. Use 50 cups of garlic on the outside of the bird. Then cook the turkey at 90 ͦ for just an hour.
Be sure to have a fire extinguisher handy if you follow Kendall’s or Bryce’s recipes. Kendall says to stuff a 15-pound turkey with a teaspoon of salt, two cups of butter, a cup each of lemon juice and stuffing, ten cups of vegetable oil and a teaspoon of blueberries. Then apply a teaspoon of pepper and two teaspoons of sugar to the outside. Finally, cook the turkey for two-hours at 800 ͦ.
Bryce developed a quick turkey recipe for those with a sweet tooth. He calls for stuffing a 20-pound bird with 100 cups of sugar, three teaspoons each of salt and pepper, a cup of garlic, a teaspoon of butter, 29 cups of lemon juice, a teaspoon of stuffing, 25 teaspoons of onion, 43 teaspoons of celery and ten teaspoons of vegetable oil. Don’t put anything on the outside. Roast at 900 ͦ for an hour.
I salute these would-be chefs for providing us with their singular recipes and hope you will clip this column and stick it in your recipe book, so you can consult it ahead of your next Thanksgiving meal.